Saturday, March 30, 2024

short QnA

People here keep asking me how I not miss my home. 
I mean there was not a single room in that house where he didn't assault me. Most of those events happening in my room which is why I shifted to my brother's room for almost the rest of the year in 2020. When I came back to my room, I covered up the walls with posters and drawing and whatnot. Anything that would not remind me of him. Whenever I think of home I think of him. It's 10:09 am and I'm still awake. I broke my fast. Today I will eat well. Restricting from tomorrow again. 

People also ask how I am so chill and not worried about my exams.
Well honestly, I would try to care about stuff but it's hard when he's the one on my mind. Not exactly him but what he did to me. The events from back when I was fifteen are still somewhat stuff, I remember but childhood ones are getting harder. Plus, he went way over and beyond to me as a kid compared to as a teen. "Why won't you let me love you like the way you did as a kid" is literally a life changing sentence to me. Fucking killing myself soon, done with self-improvement, it's nothing but a facade. 

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