i saw Him.

So I'm back at "home". I couldn't sleep last night as we all are supposed to sleep in the sane room so as to reduce electricity bill with the AC use. I can't sleep with anyone present in my room. I was restless. I couldn't sleep at night in the train either.

Today I thought of being a good sister and go fetch my younger duster from her extra class. I was contemplating to go or not. I finally went at 20:25 as my sister was supposed to return by 20:00. I saw him seconds after I saw my sister. He was coming back from work. He had grown boxz cut ig, with thus white or light blue shirt and grey pants with a bag. I saw him from the corner of my eye but it was him. Because I fucking froze. He paced, his head tilted because he had recognised me. He's so starvespo. I hadn't unpacked my cloths so I wore this jeans that I wore as a 13 year old and then a tshirt my mom bought for my sister. 

My weight is 56.6. I gained two kgs in the past month. My sister is 50 or 51 while my brother is 39. They both have grown so tall. I ate today, a lot. I have to be 80lbs by June. One month is enough to lose 40lbs or so. I need to kill myself. I saw him. Wow. Kill me.