Tho(ugh)ts

I just thought the title was funny. I started reading call me by your name. I wanted the book and it would arrive on 9th April but cash on delivery was not available and I had to pay online which I obviously won't because whomp whomp, no money. I downloaded a pdf from archive.org. The book is so much better. The book is always better. I haven't finished reading it. I'm at the scene where Oliver pinches Elio in front of his friends. I'm so desperate. If I was a man I'd definitely be gay. Maybe that's why I'm a girl because the Indian society wouldn't accept me, even though the LGBTQ community is working hard. Plus Indian boys act so gay around each other without even trying like I would be misinterpreting signs like crazy. I once read this reddit post once how this south-asian man, probably Vietnamese, visited India and how boy were acting so "touchy?" Around him. He was gay for context do he came on reddit to ask of these men were hitting on him or are Indian boys just this "intimate"? I remember one of the comments probably saying that if he acts on it the people will beat him up which is actually true. Even here, whenever I go out I see boys holding hands, waists, keeping hands around shoulders,even smacking butts publicly, also their favourite: cursing. I mean in such a huge country there are ought to be people who are NOT straight. I think it's the conservative nature and religious beliefs that holds back people from being their true self. Maybe if I was a man he wouldn't hurt me or maybe he would. He's a monster afterall, he'd do anything. Anyway, back to reading.

BROOOO I JUST FOUND THE ENTIRE MOVIE OF CALL ME BY YOUR NAME ON A PORN WEBSITE. DON'T ASK ME HOW. I JUST DID. I'M WHEEZING.