It almost feels disgusting to be nineteen. What have I achieved?
Will it be wrong if I kill him? I know it's wrong to kill people and I would never kill him if he hadn't done all those things to me. It's almost like I'm repaying him his favour. I think it should be legal fto kill perpetrators or whatever the term is. Why would I ever harm him? He's aacha bhaiya after all. The good brother. The one who loves me.
If I ever get a lot of money I'll help children and animals and victims of sex trafficking. Everybody deserves a life worth living. A happy life.
I'm doing this challenge where I don't think about him. I don't cry about him and I don't watch porn. Let's see how long I last.
I was watching this movie Himizu earlier today. Didn't finish it but there's this old man who helps the main character. I wished the old men in my life were like that. That old man was almost like a paternal grandfather figure. It was 2013. When I told the other kids about it, it almost felt like group therapy. I even told this girl in my school about it. I told people because I was so loyal to Him and if anyone else touched me it was wrong. To be fair I don't know how I felt. It's funny sometimes.
I look at my sister who's 11 and I think I want to start my teen years again and be better this time. I'm just turning out just like the 19 year olds I used to pity on reddit except I don't have a cat. Well there is a cat waiting for me every morning outside my apartment. Maybe I'm as miserable as them. I want to get better. It's important to live. It is also important to eat. Yesterday I threw my lunch. I regret throwing it but I lost even more weight. I feel sorry for wasting food. I hope I can be forgiven. I try not to waste food, in any form. I have to lose weight. I hope you ate well today reader. Take care.
No comments:
Post a Comment