Nathan (0)

This series will consist of writings narrating the experiences of a boy. I first wanted him to not have a name but then I chose the name Nathan. When I was fourteen, I watched this YouTube video and I somewhat related to it back then -I was never a drug addict, rather I rarely ever took my prescribed medication- although it's hard to remember what I related to it so much. I used to watch this video several times a week till 2020. So yea, I decided to name my character Nathan. These writings are somewhat based on my life but I try to not make it completely about myself although it might not look like that sometimes, I'll try though. Me narrating his experience is based on this movie "The Man Who Sleeps" which is and adaptation of the novel "A Man Asleep " by Georges Perec. I watched this movie on my seventeen birthday so it's pretty memorable to me. In this movie a French woman narrates the life and activities of an unnamed twenty-five-year-old French man. I think me writing about the boy is somewhat like that. In the movie the only thing we know about the woman is her voice and here, my words, in the movie we never see the man speak we just see him go from one day to the next just like Nathan who keeps living day after day -I feel crazy, does any of this writing make sense?- without never really speaking. 

I'll give trigger warning for literally everything, I guess. I often feel these writings are written in a way which is cringy, dramatic, attention- seeking and sympathy-seeking. I don't know though. 

Introduction.

Hi. It's 26th of February 2023. My birthday was five days ago, I turned eighteen (yes legal, can vote but can't drink alcohol). Tomorrow is my chemistry final. This is my third blog. First one consisted of unpublished sci-fi stories and the second one was about my daily life but it started becoming too personal. This blog will mainly focus on a few poems I wrote (TW: they are shit) a few drawings and whatever shit I wrote alongside those drawings really. I used to write songs too but they all literally felt the same. My "work" is very scattered and will continue to be but I'll try to gather most of them in one place. 

Every year since thirteen I choose one pseudonym go by on all the internet for that year on all the platforms I created in that year. I keep joining all sorts of websites, forums, and stuff all the time. I don't change my name when that particular year has passed, just to help me keep a record of when I used to use that platform and how I used it. This year's name is actually based on someone's username from a forum that I came across this year. I liked their username and a part of my username has a part of their username. I never interacted with that person but this user kinda impacted me at the beginning of this year so I'll go by my chosen username to pay homage to that person. It's also based on my room, as in there's like a lot of stuff in my room that attracts dust and my room is always dirty and messed up so I don't clean the dust and it has kinda formed a layer at this point - reminds me of " mold" by Junji Ito, you can watch the anime adaptation in episode six of "Maniac" which was released earlier this year in January - and I'm afraid I might become dust one day. My room is definitely a nightmare for a person with dust allergy. I'm done.