Stupor

 This one also has a line inspired from Khaled Hosseini.

“I want to tear myself from this place, from this reality, rise up like a cloud and float away, melt into this humid summer night and dissolve somewhere far, over the hills. But I am here, my legs blocks of concrete, my lungs empty of air, my throat burning. There will be no floating away.”
― Khaled Hosseini, The Kiterunner.

Stupor

 Created Date: 2021-05-21T19:29:07.457036+00:00

 Language: en

 I keep falling back into the pain of the past,

 struggling with the task of existing.

 Even though I'm used to being alone, it weighs heavy on me sometimes,

 And I feel as if I am missing from my own existence.

 Sometimes I think I died a long time ago,

 But the seasons kept changing and the sun kept rising,

 And everyone carried on with their lives,

 Making me feel so significant.

 I'm too often afraid of something that hasn't even happened yet,

 And I envy all people because I'm not them,

 I am always in too many worlds,

 even tho my real world is falling into pieces.

 I just want to melt into these humid summer nights,

 And rise up like up like a cloud, and float in the void.

 I don't need a mirror anymore because reality isn't an option.

 And sometimes better is all I can ask for, better is everything.

 there are these moments I think I won't survive, and then I survive.

 Because no feeling is final, and I should keep on going.